D:

This morning I woke up normally and ON TIME (sweet!) But I felt particularly jittery and scattered. I'm scattered enough as it is but I was all over the place in Dr. Olson's office!

I don't know why I had that much energy or couldn't really concentrate. Dr. Olson proposed last week that I should sing for big seminar to show off my voice (big seminar is when all the voice majors and voice faculty meet in the recital hall). It kind of freaked me out and she said never mind.

This morning she proposed it again and that added some intensity to my already strange state of breathlessness and jitters. I thought I could and when we went over my piece I completely blanked out on the words and was all over the place. The thing is; I do have that piece down but I think the fact of singing in front of sooo many good/talented students freaked me out enough to forget my piece. Even Karl noted that I had the piece down last week and it was probably my nerves getting the best of me.

Dr. Olson said it was ok but I still feel kind of bad. Having a test tomorrow and an oral project on Friday is no excuse for not being able to perform! But I also don't want to embarrass myself in front of all those talented kids...damn!

The point is that I'm not singing tomorrow because I don't think I'm really ready to show myself...